"I really don't want to be on this plane!"

Friday 19th August: and we're on our way home. Before you get the wrong idea the heading above is not one of us. More of that later:

Up we got at 7.30am showered and packed the last of our luggage. We then we able to leave the luggage with the concierge whilst we wandered into. San Francisco. We never strayed to far from the hotel, infect we stayed within two blocks at all times. That was okay because we hadn't really done much in the hotel area. We wandered to another American Style diner called 'Loris Diner' which is just round the corner from the hotel. We kept meaning to call in but it was always full. Today is no different and we have to leave it the first time as it's heaving. It's open 24 hours a day and even when passing at night it looks full. We decide to. Try again later and continue our wandering.

We go into 'Macy's' department store obviously the most famous one is in New York but this store is still very impressive. It's kind of like an upmarket Bentalls if you could imagine it. Everything is quite expensive but still good value by UK prices. The exchange rate is pretty good at the moment. Jen manages to get some Levi's and Calum as well.

We wandered around an art exhibition in Union Square and Les bought a San Francisco Giants Baseball cap from the 'Giants Store'.

We then tried the Loris Diner again. It's still full but as we stand in the doorway a table becomes available. We eat, reasonable prices, massive portions that defeat us all and endless Cokes on tap.

Back to the hotel at 1.30pm and a protest is going on outside. We were warned about the strike action at the hotel before arriving and were also assured it would not effect us. We haven't noticed it up to now, but today the area about 20 people outside walking round in circles chanting "Don't check in, get your money back and just check out..." it's the most civilised strike action ever! If it was in the UK they would have been hurling abuse and shouting at the hotel guests, not in this case. We went in and retrieved our luggage, the taxi was waiting so we set off to the airport early. When I say taxi, I actually meant a luxury, leather upholstered Lincoln executive vehicle with more leather than the average herd of buffalo. Great journey, passing the San Francisco 49ers American Football stadium (very impressive) into the terminal and all is good.

I say "all is good" because I'm looking back on it! Yet again we go to the check in machines. "Computer says no!" 'please go to the check in help desk'. Off we trundle with our copious number of bags. Not a problem as we're quite used to it by now. Bearing in mind Jen telephoned Trailfinders from San Francisco to ask why we were having problems and being told "Sorry about that but we've spoken to Quantas who have organised the tickets and there won't be any more problems" YEAH! RIGHT!

We queue up and eventually get tot the front. We explain again the situation. "No problem, do you have your passport" Les hands over the passports. She taps away on the computer. Without her saying anything it's obvious there is a problem. "Do you have a copy if your itinerary?" Les hands her the itinerary. Again, she taps away on the computer. A look of confusion on her face appears. We point out that as well as the. Ticket numbers. Printed on the itinerary the BA check in lady at Heathrow when we left had written numbers on the front. She taps on the computer "please wait there I'll be back shortly and she disappears with our passports. About 10 minutes later she returns. "All sorted" she says "What was the problem?" asked Jen "Its very complicated, that lady down there with the curly hair and glasses sorted it out, she's very good, I'm not as good as her" she points at the woman before issuing our tickets. I'm not sure if we are supposed to go and thank the woman after that glowing endorsement of her ability but we decide to skip it and head to security.

Now Les is kind of expecting Jen to be smuggling drugs or explosives as she is clearly not good at smuggling fruit. He has given her a pat down before leaving the hotel but she has been out of his sight since that and who knows what this smorgasbord smuggler is capable of!

We get through with no issues, obviously the pat down worked it's magic.

No issues getting on the plane, a British Airways 747 direct to Heathrow. Flight. Time estimated at 9 hours and 20 minutes we even get into the air early.

Whilst waiting to leave, we get the announcement "Ladies and Gentlemen, we will shortly be showing a flight safety video on the onboard entertainment system. Please take a few minutes to watch the video and make yourself acquainted with the safety features of this aircraft"
A few minutes pass and no video. Another announcement "We are having some difficulties with the safety video please watch the flight attendants who will give a practical demonstration". Into our isle and just ahead of us steps our flight attendant. She is a lady aged about 45 years, quite attractive but has clearly done a few miles (and I don't just mean in the aircraft!).

Some people have very expressive faces, if you do have one of those faces, being a flight attendant is probably not the job for you. Someone should have told her that a number of years ago! No sound was needed "I really don't want to be on this plane!" she said silently. "The cabin crew Are making you aware of where the exit doors can be located..." continued the announcement, her arms we up and pointing down the isle and out to the sides behind us and in front of us. "oh for god sake get on with it" she continued silently with a huge sigh and a role of the eyes. Her arms rapidly pointed up and down the isle as though pointing at a rat that was on the loose. She stopped pointing and stood holding the demonstration seatbelt. "The cabin crew are now pointing to the lights that will guide you to the exits in the event of an emergency..." said the announcer. "Come on, come on..." said the attendant still in complete silence. She clipped the belt together whilst pointing at the clip as though no one had seen one before. She then pointed at the release clasp and released the clip almost throwing it behind her into the kitchen area. "To connect the seatbelt push the clip into the body of the seatbelt and pull the belt tight. To release lift the catch as shown..." continued e announcement.
By now the attendant had her lifejacket over her head and tied around her waist. She pointed out the whistle, light and inflation tube. She pointed twice at the bow she had tied around her waist. "Look, look, it's a bow, not a knot a bow. Get it, you morons. Why did I end up dealing with the cattle class when I should have been with the first class passengers!" Not a sound came out but we got the picture. "The attendants will. Now demonstrate how to put on the lifejackets which are located under you seats..." the announcement went on.

Off came the lifejacket and again was unceremoniously thrown into the kitchen area. In her left hand was a face mask. She demonstrated where it would fall from as the announcement explained about a loss of cabin pressure. She showed it going over her head and tightening it before that to hit the kitchen floor.

Cabin staff make the cabin ready for take off and she disappeared with a visible sigh and a further role of the eyes. We love to see a person happy in their work!

It took a while to reset the entertainment system but by now Jen and Les are laughing hysterically at the show provided by the disgruntled air hostess!

Plane up in the air on our way home!

A long flight! We all tried to get some sleep. I think Les managed an. Hour if that, Jen managed about an hour as well, fortunately Calum managed to grab a good three or four hours.

Just over an hour of the flight left now and they've started to serve up breakfast. Flight attendant happy knickers is busy dishing it out to our isle. In fairness she does crack a smile when handing out the coffee. I'll just cover the screen whilst she dishes mine out. She's gone, and not a smile in sight.

What a fabulous breakfast - NOT! A probiotic yoghurt drink, a muffin and a biscuit - whoopee!

Now we're not seasoned travellers, but I think it fair to say that having travelled with Quantas, Jet Star, American Airlines and BA on this holiday, Quantas leaves the others in the shade. Better ground staff, better flight attendants, better aircraft, better in flight food and drinks!

55minutes to landing!

Landed at terminal 5. Really quick going through and taken home by Lisa.

Signing off:



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